December 2009
25 posts
It was a rodent wearing a hat.
6/16/08
Tom: do you think your avatar is appropriate, Nabbr Widget Sales Engineer?
Grace: that squirrel is the essence of my being
I am still at this company.
From: G Aldridge Date: Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:05 PM Subject: Shtuff To: Trevor So I finally remembered that I was supposed to send you e-mails to keep you company at your big fancy job. I woke up unusually early this morning (11:00) and while brushing my teeth got a phone call from this internet startup company whose job I applied for like yesterday. So he’s like oh can you come in today...
6/13/08
Grace: bill just sent me a techy e-mail and i just wrote back "i have no idea what you are talking about"
Lizzie: great answer
Lizzie: you go get that raise!
6/13/08
Grace: your show is going to be the height of the weekend
Grace: better make it good, woman
Caitlyn: i'm not worried
Caitlyn: either way i will get drunk after and love my improv friends more than my college friends
Grace: gee thanks
Caitlyn: listen grace you are yesterday's news
Caitlyn: accept it
Grace: ::sob::
Grace: i tried so hard!!! LOVE ME
Caitlyn: the more i push you away the more you'll want to be my friend
Caitlyn: i know how your sick mind works
Grace: hahaha it's true
Grace: that's my new way of hitting on people - just being bitchy
Grace: they love it
Grace: i was out with bridget last night and being sassy to boys and she was like i'm too nice, i can't do that to people
Grace: her loss
Caitlyn: yeah when i'm a nasty bitch they love it
Caitlyn: unfortunately i dont respect guys who like when i am mean to them
Caitlyn: like asian ben and paulie pumpkinheads
Grace: best nickname ever
Boys picture message poop to each other?
6/13/08
Grace: wow somebody smells so bad in here
Lizzie: hahahha like foot or butt?
Grace: like bad b.o.
Lizzie: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww boys are gross
Grace: boys are gross
Grace: you know, it's a good thing i'm in here to keep them under control otherwise i'm sure they would be farting openly
Lizzie: boys are SO gross
Lizzie: like yeah everyone does it and it shouldnt be like shameful but i mean really lets not be bragging about whos fart is triumphant
Lizzie: and then theres the pride they take in pooping i mean dont get me wrong pooping is fabulous but i dont feel like i need to call you and tell you or send a picture message when i have a good poop
6/12/08
Pete: superman that ho?
Pete: i thought that would be an appropriate first line of dialogue for our inaugural gchat
Grace: how dare you
Grace: that is sexual harassment and i won't take it
Pete: i dont think it counts if we work in different places
Pete: and rape will never stand up in court because I am a man and I have watched enough lifetime movies to know that I always win in court but then you get vengeful and come after me once you take about a month of karate
6/11/08
Caitlyn: so should i post an ad on craigslist for a new family
Caitlyn: what are your thoughts
Grace: i think that's a great idea
Grace: at the very least you would probably meet people who would feed you dinner
Grace: or maybe you'd find that sugar daddy you've been waiting for
Caitlyn: the ad is going to say: i dont want money. i have a job. i just want to come over for the holidays
Caitlyn: and we can all make fun of how drunk uncle bob gets
Caitlyn: and other light hearted conversation topics
Grace: my uncle bob actually did get really drunk at emily's high school graduation party
6/11/08
Caitlyn: MY BRAIN HURTS
Caitlyn: what if i got an MRI and they were like
Caitlyn: your brain has a defect
Caitlyn: so it actually thinks its a brian
Caitlyn: and then they handed me a lacrosse stick
Caitlyn: and a 12 pack
Grace: you're an asshole
Thank you?
6/11/08
Lizzie: i was freaking out this morning and i think you'd be the only person who would appreciate why
Grace: haha why was that
Lizzie: cause my ass is getting FAT
We made our intern get us eight large iced coffees
6/10/08
Grace: this coffee is going to give me a heart attack
Gregory: its good to have at least two of those per life, and its better to start early
Gregory: drink up...
Grace: good advice
Gregory: not mine
Gregory: elvis told me that
Was this the exact day I turned mean?
6/6/08
Tom: you used to be so helpful
Grace: i'm above those petty tasks now
Filth.
6/5/08
Grace: i need to do my laundry so badly
Grace: i took my shirt out of the bottom of my hamper today
Grace: because bridget foolishly thought that the show was tonight
Grace: so i was like crap i have to look somewhat put together
Grace: . . . i don't know how that led me to my hamper
Caitlyn: dirty clothes say "i'm laid back"
Caitlyn: laundry is for squares
6/5/08
Caitlyn: he has that girlfriend too
Caitlyn: she's lame and doesnt like to go out drinking all night
Caitlyn: which is one of my favorite hobbies
Grace: what a waste of a bartender boyfriend
Caitlyn: seriously
6/3/08
Grace: one of our investors just told me i looked like pebbles flintstone and that i was fulfilling one of his fantasies
Grace: and then started asking me about if i had a pebbles outfit at home
Tom: did you have your tape recorder on?
Tom: he is worth a couple mill
Grace: i wish!
Tom: you could have been like 'you should see my lawyer, he looks just like barney rubble'
Tom: the funniest thing about that is that hes gay, so they say
Tom: im so up on all the gossip
Grace: so i should be flattered!
Tom: right so, its no thing
Tom: but yeah, i thought he'd be more into bam bam
We hired him and he was wonderful
5/14/08
Grace: yay i get to interview an intern
Caitlyn: only hire sexy interns
Grace: he makes computer games for fun
Grace: so i don't know how much luck i'm going to have with that
(20 minutes later)
Grace: so
Grace: the intern
Grace: looks like trevor with a yarmulke
"I am going to make myself look ugly"
5/14/08
Caitlyn: remember when you went on that date with that guy
Grace: yeah
Grace: didn't you go on a date with saul good?
Caitlyn: its tonight and i am rethinking it
Caitlyn: he asks too many questions and is not whimsical and talks about boring shit
Caitlyn: like last night when i called him to confirm he was like talking about having to chaperone a dance for high school seniors
Caitlyn: but not in any kind of interesting way - just saying it
Grace: maybe he's nervous. get a few drinks in him
Caitlyn: we arent going boozing thats the worst part
Grace: are you going to the opera
Caitlyn: no we are going to a diner
Caitlyn: i am going to make myself look ugly
Caitlyn: im thinking about trying to make it the worst date ever for him
My art gallery days on Facebook
Grace Aldridge
so i’m like 96% sure that i put on deodorant this morning but then all of a sudden i was like jesus christ i smell. so i went into the bathroom which is like a mini-duane reade and found my boss’s deodorant and used it (AFTER wiping it off with a paper towel and then using another paper towel as an applicator) but now i smell like a burly man and i’m not sure if...
Winky faces fix everything.
5/2/08
Caitlyn: i dont know what the plan is
Grace: i'm in the mood to stay in, so i wouldn't count on me coming
Grace: but you never know when you get a second wind so i'll give you a call later
Caitlyn: yeah whatever floats your body lady
Caitlyn: i meant boat
Grace: freudian thlip?
Caitlyn: you know it
Caitlyn: ;)
Man, that was the best office.
4/23/08
Grace: i just played wii boxing and i'm like panting
Jane: hahaha
Jane: it is really hard!
Jane: ... aren't you at work?
Telekinetic chef
4/23/08
Caitlyn: i wish i had better controls of my mental abilities
Grace: i wish you could move things with your mind
Caitlyn: if i could harness my powers instead of ignoring them i'd use them to make fruit salad
Grace: man imagine if you could control knives with your mind
Grace: i would make myself such elaborate meals
Caitlyn: i hope that's all you would do
Grace: yeah i would feel bad threatening people
Our first apartment
4/21/08
Bridget: yea, i hear kids yellin
Bridget: i should shout out the window
Bridget: "go home and do your homework!"
Bridget: with a spatula
Grace: hahahahahhaa
Bridget: or your mom's baster
“I think I met my first Asian computer tech guy who had no idea what the fuck he...”
– Lizzie, 4/17/08